A collection of quotes by Professor Kerwin Klein from his history seminar on History and Theory in the fall of 2006:
"Sheep are dumber than goldfish on legs."
--on the ahistoricity of animals
"I bet a huge chunk of this campus would be content with sitting on the couch and funneling beer..."
--on life after school
"This is like Jaegermeister shots after Marx."
--on reading Nietzsche
"Thank God I'm not Jo-Jo the dog-faced girl!"
--on why freak shows trigger strong reactions from the Establishment
"Between the chick flick and the action movie, you go and rent Citizen Kane--that will quiet everyone. Of course, you will not be allowed to chose again after that..."
--on arguing with friends over movies
"I don't judge you on the libidinal investments in this course."
--on potential Kevin Costner fans in the class
"Or you can just throw them out the window and whichever ones land closest get the best grades."
--on alternative ways of grading papers
"...They're not going to allow the girl to play softball, because that guarantees a lesbian..."
--on progressive parents adopting gender-neutral methods of raising their kids
"I don't want to not be there and find out that UC Davis is sucking up all our dough."
--on attending a conference on financial allocations at Irvine
"Americans are getting bigger, and not necessarily in an attractive way..."
--on the proliferation of obese people in this country